", -- On how he would like to become the owner of a second NBA team in Miami -- but just for the opening press conference, so that when he's asked what the name of the new franchise would be, he could respond, "Well, it's not the Heat ... it's the Humidity.

I hit a brand-new milestone. We’re almost done.

And a third footlong. –is cigarette boat racing. You’d be answering Tater Tot questions 30 years from now. We need the transition. Anyway, that’s all I got so far.” [audience laughing] That was mulled around by Milton and Bradley. If it goes over the fence, I’m not gonna get it.” “Ball’s over the fence, Brian.” He’s like, “How many do we have left?” “Love. I like playing board games with my kids. It’s just me and street.

Mike is our oldest brother.

I’m seeing jackets and ascots.

The way we played Mouse Trap is we’d try to guess how far we would get into the setup process… before we got frustrated and threw everything back in the box. That’s a good holiday game. [audience laughing] Hey, where was the awkward little snap? Use it whenever you need it. You’re not allowed to sit in the car without some harness system holding you in, but they’ll let you sit on a motorcycle like this? Regan actually did quite an extended segment on athletic-themed material, touching on a variety of things which are naturally accepted in the wide world of sports -- but which should maybe warrant closer inspection. Welcome to the Brian Regan Official Store. I can surround myself with financial advisers. You care about your constituents. Regan resides in Pittsburgh with his wife, Catherine, and their two children, Sophia and Brendan. Deal with it, Brian.” “Okay. That encourages people who play three times in their whole life. [audience laughing] Do you have a backup plan?” I swear he goes, “Pee out the back window. in National, Trending. Winds ESE at 10 to 15 mph.

Born in Miami, Florida, to an Irish-American family who was Catholic,[3][4] Brian Regan was raised in Westchester, Florida,[5] He has seven siblings, including brother, Dennis Regan, who is also a stand-up comedian. You have to guess what’s in the envelope by process of elimination. I’m like, “This makes no sense.” Before I could leave, a salesman came up and said, “Can I help you?” And instead of saying, “No, thank you,” and leaving… I said, “I want a hot dog.” [audience laughing] So, we stared at each other for 20 seconds. I’ll have to grab it, keep my feet in balance to make the go-ahead touchdown.” “See? Winds SW at 5 to 10 mph.. If that's true, he opined, "What do we need them for four years for?". He aims it at the corner of his room, I’m seeing a cobweb dangling. [audience laughing] Have you seen them there? During his college years, Regan started and developed his own basketball camps at Pittsburgh area high schools. This blew me away. They should make a rule that you can no longer answer a question with a question. Regan was always a fan of Steve Martin, The Smothers Brothers and Johnny Carson.[3]. “Oh, okay.

[mimics ball bouncing] [whooshing] [yells] They hit some shooting star across the street.

More 4:00 Funnies. “How the hell are we gonna put that… He was standing… He’s looking into a pink light… No, we need it. Usually they break as you’re taking them out of the cellophane. Aaron! Little moments where you go, “Hey, that was new.” It used to be I’d put on my underwear, and that was it. He’s sweating. So, operation pee out the back gets underway.

It might sound absurd to you, but I like the way it makes me feel inside.” Play me as the jerk. We hope that you enjoy our free content. I don’t wanna be yelled at. Regan said if he were in the players' position, knowing those outside the room had no idea what the question was, he would love to make up colorful answers. Skedaddle. My dad has an interesting sense of humor. Was that a life lesson? [audience laughing], I have two kids. “Oh, fantastic. What do you want? You’ve been taking your medications?” “Beck beck beckedebang.” [audience laughing] “Oh, you know he’s taking them.

Brian Regan on Baseball Umpires and Managers. 35 mins ago Just bring us your originals, or we can output your documents directly from digital files. “Hey, I like that.” Thanks, Kim Jong-un.

Tuesday’s Trash 1/15/19. I know you care about charities, and that’s to be commended. EEO Report | Why not split the difference in those reactions? Click, click, click.

The decisions some people make.

I wish I had done this. Give him a run. [audience laughing] You think I saw something in that billow you didn’t?” So, I didn’t know why there was a meeting.

Baby Nancy, the first Black baby doll to have an Afro and other authentic features, was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame on Thursday, along with sidewalk chalk and the wooden block game Jenga. I’ve only got 25 pounds to go. A couple of weeks ago, I beat her for the first time, she didn’t say anything, I thought that was weird. He incorporates body language and facial expressions into his act.

And I’m not just peeing on me. “Brian’s institutional knowledge, his understanding of the city of Pittsburgh and his experience enable him to be an outstanding director of basketball operations,” said head coach Jeff Capel. So, they know about microphones.

Watch a press conference. “Give it your all, fellas.” “Who’s the guy in the goalie mask?” So, why is it normal in baseball? Where should we put Cap’n Crunch?” He broke his toe. Especially if as you’re leaving, you see a candlestick in the conservatory.

Means nothing. I’d just get on with my day. Funny to two-thirds of us standing here.” I’m trying to cover, “My dad was joking.” “Oh, I bet. His second Comedy Central special, entitled The Epitome of Hyperbole, premiered on September 6, 2008.

And everybody left. It’s a true story. Talking about sports. On a personal note, I had the pleasure of working with you on the Arms Services Committee. I said, “Put Dad on FaceTime. It’s things at a beach.” “I eat sandwiches when I go to the beach.” “Doesn’t matter.

I have enough money… to buy Tater Tots… [audience laughing] for the rest… of my life. "Should we be doing this? Click, click, click. It lands on the roof of some warehouse. So, clearly, we need to compromise. I like the home plate umpire job. Brian Joseph Regan (/ ˈ r iː ɡ ən /) (born June 2, 1958) is an American stand-up comedian who uses observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating humor. Tuesday, January 15, 2019 01/15/2019. Sitting in the dugout. He’s shuffling along. Thank you. That’s not that hard to say. “It was kind of a surprise for me years ago when I realized I had a following in the state,” he said.

But now he’s at a time in his life where they try to figure out what level of care he needs.

Greece imposes lockdown to avoid worst at hospitals, Senate control hangs in balance with a few races undecided. You have permission to edit this article. Now, when we start this process, there are no cars behind us. “What are you doing? “First, I wanna thank you for coming and answering our questions.

Went to a Braves game. ", Based on his incredible success, one could easily claim that comedian Brian Regan is one of …, Comedian Brian Regan is beloved by Utah audiences (he's sold out shows at various arenas across the state). I so wish while he was yelling that a clamp would have descended… from the darkness of the ceiling, like one of those claw games, just right above him, and then just clamped onto his ribs, and just pulled him up, a-whooping and a-hollering, a-legs a-flailing, just pulled him up into the darkness. I have a trainer, a woman. “What in the hell is going on over here?” [audience laughing] “Well, he started it.” “No, he started it.” “I don’t care who started it.

23 mins ago Right now the law is I’m not allowed to rob any liquor stores. COVID-19: ‘The Bitter End’ for nation’s live music venues? “Can you hear me?” “I always could hear you. His performance, All By Myself, is available via CD, exclusively on his website. Swing them. With a surge in coronavirus cases straining health systems in many European countries, Greece announced a nationwide lockdown Thursday in the hopes of stemming a rising tide of patients before its hospitals come under "unbearable" pressure.

Please purchase a subscription to continue reading. I mean, where else is a comedian performing two nights in an NBA arena? All right. I go on a short vacation… I don’t know how they’ll solve the issues. [cheering and applause] Thank you. [audience laughing], Our national pastime is baseball. I have zero.” “You have love.” [gasps] “It don’t feel like it.” [audience laughing] Why do you say it like that? Like an alligator coming out of a swamp at a 45-degree angle. [audience laughing] Swing your hips. More 4:00 Funnies. Partly to mostly cloudy.

1 seeds in the NCAA Tournament (2009 and 2011). She gets on the mic, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wonderful day here with all these graduates. Listen, if you can see your enemy through binoculars… you’ve already lost. I went to my nephew’s high school graduation. He assists the coaching staff with scheduling and is heavily involved in developing the team’s itinerary for all road games.

[audience laughing] You wanna initial my cast?”, I saw another thing on the sports highlights.

Aaron! With our first graduate, Aaron Anderson.” “Yeah!

Whoo! [7] In April 2007, Regan signed a deal with Comedy Central to star in two one-hour stand-up specials, release the specials on DVD, develop a show for the network, and headline a theater tour, Brian Regan in Concert: A Comedy Central Live Event, which began June 8, 2007. Ronny Chieng (“The Daily Show,” “Crazy Rich Asians”) takes center stage in this stand-up special and riffs on modern American life and more.

My mom and dad sat me down when I was a kid, Mom said, “There’s something we wanna tell you.” And I was like, “Okay.” And my mom goes, “We just want you to know that we named you after Thomas Jefferson.” [audience laughing] “My name is Brian Joseph Regan.” And she said, “We named you after Thomas Jefferson.” [audience laughing] And they got up, walked out of the room, and I heard them laughing in the hallway. "SCOTUS? That means a lot. No, I’ll just sit here and eat Funyuns2.”. “Oh, we got a new driver. You hear Charlie’s idea? People think I’m smart and gracious.

Tennis is weird. He was the supervisor of the program’s student managers, graduate assistants and student workers. in Coronavirus Updates, Trending, World. It turns out you need $64.

I drove my dad to the restaurant where we were meeting. Still do.

How come somebody didn’t go to that first meeting, that first scoring system meeting?

Good night. They call balls and strikes, which I think are equally important to the game. ‘Cause a good dad can solve a problem in 30 seconds.