What do you need it for after you read it?” – Jerry, “Can you die from an odor?

Seinfeld Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes. –George Costanza. –Jerry Seinfeld, I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up. I mean that if it’s a combination of breakfast and lunch, how comes there’s no ‘lupper’ or no ‘linner’?” – Jeannie, “Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. This is what I like, see? It's too risky. George Costanza the Architect, the Liar - Seinfeld - YouTube

They aren't George's, either.

From now on, when you take a chip — just take one dip and end it.” – Timmy, “But out of that, a new holiday was born. George Costanza: "You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect" ... Seinfeld at 25: The show's best quotes. I'm, uh, I'm an architect. –Kramer. Elaine: Get out!

I live my whole life in shame. It’s too much, I can’t take it. Instead of looking annoyed, George lives his life feeling actively irritated by everyone and everything. Independent Premium Comments can be posted by members of our membership scheme, Independent Premium. Uh, r... Seinfeld Season 1 Episode 2: "The Stakeout". Is that so selfish?” – George, “I just couldn’t decide if he was really sponge-worthy.” – Elaine, “He stopped short?

I’m floppin’!” – Kramer, “Yeah, I’m a great quitter.

I don’t understand stuff like that.” – Puddy, “Why do I always have the feeling that everybody’s doing something better than me on Saturday afternoons?” – Jerry, “Look, I got a few good years left. RELATED: Every Larry David Cameo On Seinfeld, Ranked.

You don't stare at it. '”, George Costanza: “When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.”, Jerry Seinfeld: “That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”, George Costanza: “This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.”, George Costanza: “I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.”, George Costanza: “If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.”, Kramer: “I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. The conclusions drawn by the Seinfeld cast about these issues often cause more harm than good. I mean, like if you were locked in a vomitorium for two weeks, could you actually die from the odor?” – Elaine, “You know, I got a great idea for a cologne. Why should I die with dignity?” – George, “I love the name ‘Isosceles.’ If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Why can’t there be some things just for me? Case in point: George's alter ego Art Vandelay, an accomplished architect.

Just tell your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! Below, we celebrate the juiciest lines from Jerry and co. Elaine Benes: "I'm not a lesbian. – George Costanza, I'm not a lesbian. (Kramer bangs into the room with his golf clubs) Kramer: Hey. My Uncle Pete showers four times a day and he can’t count to ten. The series is rife with philosophical ruminations that range from arguments over how to deal with a friend's ugly baby to how to find true love. –George Costanza. Unfortunately, Kramer eventually gets fired from the company he doesn't technically work for. Jerry Seinfeld: "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun.

Four single friends -- comic Jerry Seinfeld, bungling George Costanza, frustrated working gal Elaine Benes and eccentric neighbor Cosmo Kramer -- deal with the absurdities of everyday life in New York City. It just completely changes the relationship.” – George, “You know the message you’re sending out to the world with sweatpants?

You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.” – Jerry, “You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.” – George, “I’m not a lesbian! Jerry: Who?

I wanna see more garbage men. whenever he gets upset. Elaine: That seems about right. Jerry falls hard for a woman who seems to be the female version of himself in season seven: Jeannie Steinman. Kramer: Little Jerry Seinfeld. You don’t stare at it. You’re telling the world: ‘I give up. I’m busting!” – George, “Hunger will make people do amazing things. I have been performing feats of strength all morning.

Hello? It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists. It's too risky.

Elaine: Stunned by soup? I can’t compete in normal society. Friends Characters Ranked From Most To Least Likely To Die In A Horror Movie, Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air: 5 Times Jazz Deserved To Be Thrown Out Of The House (& 5 He Didn't), The Boys: 10 Unanswered Questions We Still Have About Kimiko, The Office: 10 Of The Saddest Things About Michael Scott, How To Get Away With Murder: The 5 Best Things Michaela Ever Did (& The 5 Worst), 10 Of The Longest Running Talk Shows Of All Time, The 15 Highest Rated K-Dramas In 2019 & 2020, Ranked (According To IMDb), Star Trek: 10 Things You Never Knew About Galaxy Class Starships, The Big Bang Theory: 10 Best Season 10 Episodes, According To IMDb, Top 10 Scariest Original Powerpuff Girls Episodes, How I Met Your Mother: How Barney Changed From Season 1 (& How He's The Same), Psych: Every Main Character, Ranked By Likability, Supernatural: 10 Worst Things Rowena Has Done, Supernatural: 10 Best Seasons According To Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score, Gilmore Girls: 10 Saddest Things That Happened To Lorelai, Game Of Thrones: The 5 Biggest Losers In The Battle Of King's Landing (& 5 Big Winners), Game Of Thrones: The 5 Biggest Losers In The War Of The 5 Kings (& 5 Big Winners). What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?” – Jerry, “I’d rather be dating the blind. It's too risky.

Am I a hipster doofus?” – Kramer, “Hey believe me, baldness will catch on. George Costanza: Yes, I hope my parents die long before I do. The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics.

You come home and your parents are in your bed!

You can’t spare three squares?” – Elaine, “I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.” – George, “How long it takes to find a bra? The ‘bro’ or the ‘mansiere’?” — Frank Costanza, “George, we’ve had it with you. While a simple platitude, Kramer is right that the way to market any idea is to focus on the most sensational aspect of it. Jerry: Mulva? You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I’m back in two seconds…you know about the cup sizes and all?

Pack it up. HBO's The Vow: Where Are The Former & Current NXIVM Cult Members Now? I don’t need that kind of honesty. Between you and me, Elaine, I think I’ve got a foot odor problem.” — Frank Costanza, “How long it takes to find a bra? Adults think it’s so wonderful how honest kids are. Seinfeld is a television series that turns sitcom conventions in on themselves. That’s like an hour.” – Jerry, “You’re through, Soup Nazi.

That’s like an hour. You come home and your parents are in ... Y'know I think that even if you've had a relationship with someo... About Us | Copyright Inquiry | Privacy Policy | Contact Us. Jerry: Is that your "chicken" making all that noise? Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty. George Costanza: Why not?

- Morty Seinfeld. Why is it only a snack, why can’t it be a meal, you know?

So who is having sex with the rooster? her tomorrow, I'm gonna tell her what's goin on. –Kramer, I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." Understand? You don't stare at it.

Seinfeld first aired 25 years ago this week, and would go on to inspire legions of imitators and disciples.

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Huh?

Is there no ‘me’ left? –David Puddy, You very bad man, Jerry.

It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.” – George, “I want to be the one person who doesn’t die with dignity.” – George, “Say you got a big job interview, and you’re a little nervous. All the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers.